By: Hugh Wilson
The first Adrian Mole book was published 30 years ago this week, but how would the hapless romantic go about wooing snooty Pandora in 2012?
In 1982 Sue Townsend published the first diary of fictional nerd anti-hero Adrian Mole and, after critical acclaim and blossoming sales, duly followed it up with seven more.
The series follows Adrian from spotty teen to midlife loser, and from the beginning of the 1980s to the dawn of a new century. If there is a constant in this sweeping and hilarious saga it's Adrian's love life, which most of the time lurches from disastrous to the dizzy heights of merely disappointing.
So what has changed in the dating lives of British men since Adrian Mole first hit the bookshelves? The answer, of course, is (nearly) everything.
Technology
Had Adrian Mole been starting his dating career in 2012 rather than 1982, he would surely have far less truck with the whims and demands of snooty Pandora Braithwaite (a first love to whom he would keep returning - like a smitten puppy - throughout the series).
Because in 2012 there really are far more fish in the sea.
"The world of dating has probably changed more over the last 30 years than at any other time in history," says Paula Hall, relationship expert for matchmaking site Parship. "Society now relates within a technological world of text, email, instant messaging, face time and social networking to name but a few."
Through technology, we can select, date and keep in touch with a far wider pool of potential partners than we could just 30 years ago.
Back in the early 80s, that pool was limited to the women we knew at work or those we might bump into by chance at a nightclub or dinner party. There were dating agencies, but their pool of potential partners was barely wider than yours, and you risked ridicule for joining one.
Today, internet dating is one of the most common ways to find a new partner, and the world - or at least a city or region - is a dater's oyster.
"Not only has online dating allowed people to look for people outside of their locality but it's also allowed them to whittle down the choices to a selected few," says Hall.
And while dating was once something done largely in private (like Adrian Mole's bedroom), now it's a far more public affair. Internet dating and speed dating - and its many off-shoots - have kicked the notion of having to find Ms Right, right now, right out of the window. Today, courtship and wooing seem like habits from another century.
Researching potential dates on the internet was not something Adrian Mole had access to, which is perhaps why he spent half a lifetime pining for the same - often unobtainable - girl. In 2012 he may have ditched Pandora and dipped his toe in the ocean of online dating instead.
Psychology
Not that dipping his toe into the ocean of online dating was guaranteed to do him any good, especially if he wanted to get over pretty Pandora with a couple of mindless flings.
Recent research from Achim Schützwohl of Brunel University in London found that most men would say yes to the offer of a one night stand from someone they found at least a little bit attractive, while most women wouldn't. This mirrors much earlier findings on men and women's sexual preferences.
Which just goes to show that, while technology has galloped ahead in the last 30 years, men and women have stayed largely the same.
The fact is, evolution works at a snail's pace. Men and women are the same mentally as they were in 1982. But social factors, as well as technology, mean the way we get together really is different. We travel around more than we did in 1982. We work longer hours. We get married older, meaning there are more singles than ever before. These have all had an influence on dating.
When added to iPads and internet sites they mean that both sexes are likely to go on more dates, more of them with strangers, and get to know more members of the opposite sex than they could ever have dreamed of before.
But before the Adrian Moles among us get too excited, there's a caveat to all this. There may be more fish in the sea, but those fish are more demanding. If women can date more men, they can be increasingly picky about which ones they sleep with, or who they end up with.
"Single people are able to be choosier now than before simply because they have more choice," says Paula Hall. "The number of singles continues to increase in the UK and with geographic bounds reduced the choice is vast."
Some experts believe another factor makes women, in particular, pickier about partners than ever.
Research for Radio 4's Woman's Hour programme a few years ago found that most women were still looking for Mr Right. That's always been the case, but while in the past the unobtainable Mr Right was soon jettisoned when Mr Pretty Good came along, some experts believe that today many women are refusing to let go of the fantasy.
That's because as well as access to an internet mountain of potential dates, women also have less need for men as providers. Increased equality in terms of careers and income mean that women have less to gain from settling down with the first gainfully employed man who buys them a Babycham.
"Unfortunately for some, all that choice can become a burden and they find themselves increasingly unable to decide who might be 'the one'," says Hall.
Women's increased confidence and choosiness might explain the rise of the pick-up artist movement, which started with the publication of Neil Strauss' book The Game in 2005.
These silver-tongued seducers say they aim to give men the strategies they need to pick up women in just about any situation, using science to break through the barrier of women's increased expectations. Women may be more choosy, and technology may have changed the rules, but get your game right and women will still fall into your lap.
How Adrian Mole could have done with some of that advice.
But perhaps the very existence of a male pick-up movement is telling. Society relative to technology has changed, but most men are still as confused and baffled by the dating game as they always were. Perhaps, 30 years on, we're not much different to Adrian Mole, after all.