It shouldn’t be any surprise that men and women are different in many ways including the ways they each view and react to sex. Research has shown that, unlike men, women need to relax into arousal and the parts of their brains that associate with outside stressors must deactivate. In addition to that, women are generally more aroused when they feel appreciated, cared for, desired, and attractive by their partner. Combined, all this information on the libido-dampening effects of stress and the importance of appreciation helps illustrate how important it is to relax our partner when provoking intimacy. Hormones play a huge role as well. In fact, a recent British study showed that women taking hormonal birth control pills are slightly less sexually aroused and less sexually attracted to their partner than women who don’t use hormonal birth control. All this information, however, is more than neat trivia, it provides important, effective and useful insight on how to promote intimacy and strike the mood in your partner. Here are a few tips:

Be Appreciative
Being appreciative to your partner helps them feel connected to you. Generally speaking, women desire that strong connection and when they do feel it they are more apt to want to please their male partners. Remember, the largest controller of arousal is the mind, not the genitalia. If she’s not mentally turned on she will be unable to get physically turned on.

Be Affectionate
Being affectionate in non-sexual ways serves an important purpose. Women, like men, do not like to feel pressured to perform. Simply letting her know that you just like being with her, and holding her without pressuring or alluding to sex actually reduces the pressure to perform for both parties. This type of non-erotic touch can actually pave the way to erotic touch and helps to promote a long and healthy relationship. Remember, even if this doesn’t help put her into the mood in the moment it is still a crucial move on your part which helps promote the mood for future occasions.

Dim the Lights
According to neurological studies in the Netherlands, dimming the lights helps to relax the brain, relieving stress and anxiety which subsequently helps women get aroused. Low lights are associated with relaxation and the brain reads this as time to disconnect. In addition to that, there is also considerable evidence that dim lighting also helps make women feel more comfortable, sexy and sexually aroused because it helps them to hide their imperfections, promoting their sexual confidence.

Touch Hormones
Touching each other is one of the most important things a couple can do to arouse one another. Research shows then when you embrace your partner for thirty second increments the pituitary gland releases a chemical called Oxytocin. Oxytocin is nicknamed the 'cuddle chemical' because it is the hormone largely responsible for bonding people together. Thirty minutes a week of massaging or caressing each other is a great exercise for bonding and it also has the added benefit of releasing Endorphins which are 'feel good' chemicals to help you and your partner to relax into the mood.

Mood-Setting Food
Diet is an important component in mood-setting. Serving up foods high in Arginine (which forms the basis of Viagra) has a large, direct effect on sexual desire. Arginine can be found in food such as oysters, fish, and other lean proteins. Foods high in zinc are a good choice as well because zinc not only fosters male potency and sex drive but also influences female sexual desire and sexual potency. Some foods high in zinc include shellfish, Dark Chocolate and Roasted Pumpkin Seeds. It might be wise to prepare her a romantic meal around these foods.

Watch a Romantic Flick
When you watch a movie, it isn’t just your mind that is responding; your hormones do as well. A recent study found that watching romantic movies caused an increase in progesterone levels in both men and women. Progesterone is a hormone that promotes intimacy and is also known to have anxiety-reducing effects. Thus, progesterone may prepare you and your partner both for romance and promote bonding.

Focus on Aroma
One study from the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, analyzed the effects of various scents on men and women and found that both men and women were influenced by and turned on by the smell of pumpkin pie; however, for women the smell of Good Plenty® licorice combined with the scent of cucumber created the greatest effect (measured as an increase in blood flow to the vagina). The scent of Banana-Nut bread was also found to be effective with women. If your home is out of the aforementioned, try some lavender-scented oils, sachets, and lotions. The study found that the scent of Lavender also had a positive measurable effect on arousal for both men and women and may increase feelings of relaxation and reduce mental stress in some people.

Cut Alcohol and Kick Nicotine
Yes, it is true that alcohol can lift behavioral inhibitions but it comes at the cost of depressing brain function -- which severely diminishes sexual performance ability; ultimately impairing sexual functions. Alcohol isn’t the only thing that impairs sexual performance. Nicotine, a notorious enemy of the arteries, promotes the formation of atherosclerotic plaque in the blood vessels and constricts them. In women acute nicotine intake has been shown to significantly weaken physiological sexual arousal. Stay away from both if you can.

Exercise
Creating a healthy sex-life extends well beyond the moment. If you and your partner are unfit or generally unhealthy, then consider the libido-boosting effects of a regular exercise regime as just one more good reason to stay fit. People who exercise more regularly often tend to be more sexual people. This is largely because exercise promotes a healthy libido, improves oxygen flow, increases energy and helps with relaxation. This is why exercise is a truly compound pickup for an ailing libido. You and your partner will also get a healthy endorphin rush immediately afterwards which can you both in the mood as well.