By: May Rostom
Ok, so I was talking to a friend of mine (let’s make it funny and call him Tantan), and Tantan suddenly opens up like never before, like an avalanche of words and emotions just fell off his burdened shoulders. “May!” he said, which is kind of weird and shocking since he usually calls me by my nickname, “don’t you think people judge singles too much?” Confused by how random the thought was, I was baffled. “What do you mean Tantan?! Explain please”.
Not being really articulate, Tantan starts ranting about how couples think everyone should be in a relationship like them to live a happy, fulfilled life.Like human beings were made to be paired. Like every single person on the face of this planet must be unhappy and looking for love.
Being the attractive, funny single guy he is (who claims to enjoy every second of it), he got furious and started asking his friends what they thought of being single. Some guys replied with “nah man, I’d rather spend my time and energy on myself than on some girl I met at a party”, others said “we’re too young to commit and we have the rest of our lives to find the perfect woman, so why rush?!” And most of them answered quite simply “we can’t find anyone that’s attractive enough, with the same social background, education, interests, and popularity”. Looks like Tantan needs to find new guy friends!!!
Anyway, so basically it’s either some men can’t find the perfect woman to commit to, or if they did find The One, they’d rather commit to themselves. After taking a long, hard look at Tantan, I started wondering why that guy is still single, why is the whole issue bothering him, and why does he constantly claim to like his singlehood if it’s worrying him this much. So I asked him “why are you single then, what’s your lame excuse?!” and all I got was a four- word reply : “I don’t express easily”. Not an answer you’d want to write an article about though. After literally dragging and pulling words out of his mouth, he then says “it’s easier for me strip naked, go commando, like that Egyptian blogger Alia Mahdy, than say I love you or express any words of emotion”.
He thinks that being single in the Middle East is a curse, it’s almost impossible to go up to someone that seems alright, but you barely know and ask them out for coffee or dinner without risking a 70% chance of rejection. That even if that other person did like you back, social ties and boundaries would eventually come in the way of your date. And even if you do go on a date and make it through years of emotional ups and downs, and finally decide to tie the knot, the social standards and requirements of the complicated Middle Eastern mind would break your back (and bank for that matter). Looks like Tantan has a problem of “over-thinking” rather than ‘under-expressing”. Lighten up man!
Well Tantan, I know you’re reading this - (aren’t you glad that’s not your real name?! Phew!)- and I know how much this is bugging you and probably anyone who’s single, loving it, and thinks they don’t need a relationship just because it’s too much of a hassle, but who cares what people think? Who said they were right and you were wrong? Who said that reaching a certain age or a certain point in life meant you had to be with someone? Who said that the hassle isn’t sometimes worth it? Who told you that you needed to be good at expressing yourself for someone to fall in love with you, people communicate through words and actions, and the right girl will understand what you’re all about without you even saying a word. Who said that being in a relationship meant you have to forget about your human needs, your personal interests, and who you truly are just to care for someone else?
Tantan, I know that stripping yourself naked of clothes is far more easier than stripping yourself naked of walls that cover up years of un-expressed feelings and emotions, but having a naked heart is far better and more worthy than having a naked body. Think about that!