By: Dr. Pam Spurr

Our female friendships are more important than ever. Statistics show that in our romantic life we settle down later, have shorter relationships and are more likely to go through major breakups more than once. So friendships are the one constant we count on.

But that doesn't mean they're always easy - far from it! They can be fraught, complicated and tricky.

Here are six specific 'pal problems' and top tips for handling them:
Pal problem No 1: She's doing something destructive or harmful to herself
It's horrible to watch a friend repeatedly date bad boys or do something harmful to herself, such as losing too much weight. You want to be supportive but at the same time you don't want her to shut you out if she thinks you're interfering too much.

Friendship fixer:
When you have the 'big chat' about, eg, the guy who's mucking her about, don't react badly if she gets annoyed. She's likely to feel put out if you hit a raw nerve. Yes, you're doing her a favour but keep calm because if you get angry back and she's likely to shut you out.

Emphasise that you'll always be there for her if in future she decides she needs to talk. And never throw it back in her face with "I told you so" if she comes looking for your support.

Pal problem No 2: She clashes with another of your friends
Life would be so simple if all your friends could get on with each other but there's always one who can't stand the sight of the other. She bitches behind your other friend's back and it makes you so uncomfortable.

Friendship fixer:
Set your boundaries straightaway. Let her know you accept she doesn't like your other friend but it makes you very uncomfortable to hear it.

Think about whether she could be envious of how much time you spend with the other friend. Is she insecure and needs a bit of a confidence boost? Let her know how much you value her friendship. Hopefully she might stop being insecure about your other friendship.

Say you'd love it if she came along when you see your other friend but understand she may not want to. Don't give in to emotional blackmail to give up your other friendship - she needs to be mature about it.

Pal problem No 3: You can't invite her to something because there are limited spaces
There will always be events where you need to take someone besides her because of particular circumstances. You feel really guilty about it but there's no alternative.

Friendship fixer:
If you're very close friends she'll know if you're going to a special event - so don't lie about it. Instead be very clear about why you have to take, eg, your cousin or your work colleague [whoever] to this event.

Also Read: Is she a toxic friend?
Also Read: A Friend a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
Also Read: The party-girl's health survival guide
Also Read: The girl's guide to sadness

Suggest you two do something special soon and remind her she'd be top of your list to take if it wasn't for these circumstances.

Pal problem No 4: She's drinking too much
It's a sad and worrying realisation when you decide a friend's drinking too much. You care so much about her and you don't want her to get into trouble.

Friendship fixer:
As with any drink or drug issue she has to recognize she has a problem before she truly deals with it. That said, you can still let her know you're worried and you wish she'd tone things down.

Plan some nights out or weekend get-togethers that don't involve alcohol. Big up the fact you two can have fun without drinking. It'll also be good for you not always to drink!

Choose your moments to bring up this issue when you can in a supportive and caring way. Hopefully she'll take your cue and sort it out.

Pal problem No 5: She's cheating on her boyfriend
You're not her keeper and we all make dodgy choices at times. But when she's cheating on him, sharing all the details, and then you have to face him it's deeply unpleasant.

Friendship fixer:
Keep it straightforward and let her know you don't want to hear any more about it until she sorts it out. It's not your place to tell him - ultimately she might need to confess it herself or break up with him if her affair continues.

You can be there for her if it all blows up in her face but you don't have to feel as if you were part of the secrets and lies.

Pal problem No 6:She's so disorganised and you have to arrange all the plans
She's an amazing person but even you have a limit to your patience. It's easy to get fed up when you always have to sort everything.

Friendship fixer:
Get very practical and the next time she suggests going to a concert - or something that needs lots of planning like your summer holiday together - divvy up the task. Suggest she rings the venue and books the tickets. Say you'll sort out where to go for dinner/drinks before or after the concert.

With something big like a holiday ask her to, eg, search for holidays in Spain while you search for holidays in Tunisia and then you compare what's best.

Ultimately she can be your BFF if you keep things straightforward and honest with her.