By: Neil Smith
Inbetweeners fans have followed hapless teenagers Will, Jay, Simon and Neil through three series of their hit E4 sitcom that have seen them repeatedly fail to find love, stay sober or negotiate any social situation without humiliating themselves. With no fourth season in prospect, it seems both fitting and inevitable they should graduate to the big screen before walking off into the sunset for good.
What a pity, then, that The Inbetweeners Movie is more a half-hearted footnote than a glorious send-off that has its four accident-prone leads negotiating territory they have visited numerous times before. The big difference here is they do it abroad, co-writers Iain Morris and Damon Beesley following in the footsteps of Are You Being Served?, Steptoe and Son and several other British sitcoms in whisking their stars off to foreign climes.
"They say the summer is the perfect time for a summer holiday!" muses clueless Neil as he and his mates head off to Crete on a 10-day jaunt funded by an inheritance from Jay's late grandfather. What they find there will surprise no one - a holiday apartment on the verge of collapse, hot babes who won't give them the time of day and plenty of opportunities to drink themselves into vomiting oblivion.
Whether clad in their lurid pink 'Pussay Patrol' T-shirts, too-revealing beach wear or nothing at all, our heroes find the mean streets of Malia are harder than anything they encountered back at Rudge Park Comprehensive. Four friendly girls they get chatting to in a near-empty night-club could be their salvation - provided lovelorn Simon (Joe Thomas) can stop mooning over ex-girlfriend Carli (Emily Head), Will (Simon Bird) can divest himself of the sun-burn phallus he has seared on his back, and Neil (Blake Harrison) can stop copping off with randy dinner ladies thrice his age.
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With scenes involving a self-pleasuring male stripper, Jay (James Buckley) crashing out on an anthill and Neil defecating in a communal bidet, Ben Palmer's film doesn't want for saucy humour or cringe-inducing moments. Between them, alas, lie yawning stretches of comedic desert, the strain of padding out a script three times the length of an average episode evident in the increasingly desperate measures Morris and Beasley take to raise a chuckle.
Their default tactic is to have foul-mouthed Jay say one of the laddish, objectionable statements that have become his stock in trade, the majority of which are far too rude to reprint here. What felt like juvenile hi-jinks on television, though, seems crude and unnecessary here, not least because Buckley - whose other roles include the youthful Derek Trotter in Only Fools and Horses prequel Rock and Chips - has just celebrated his 24th birthday.
If you adored the show you'll be more than prepared to give The Inbetweeners Movie the benefit of the doubt. Long before the story climaxes at an all-day beach party on a swanky yacht, however, even the most devoted Tweener will be wondering where the magic has gone.
Verdict: Stick to the small screen, boys.
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