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So He's Just Not That Into You?

Alyson Papalia

 
 
The holiday season seems to bring out the best in people: cards from those you had forgotten, phone calls from far-away family members and even a smile or two from strangers on the street. The "most wonderful time of the year" is bound to evoke feelings of love and happiness, and a desire to share that with someone.

What's important to remember, though, is that it should always be shared with someone who deserves it. In what can be perceived as the season of coupledom, it's easy to forget that not all relationships are good.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've surely heard of the Sex and the City episode that quickly became a motto for millions of women--"He's Just Not That Into You." On the show, a group of Manhattanites find themselves analyzing a first date, contemplating what a man really meant when he refused to come upstairs afterward. The women offer explanations aplenty.

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(He obviously had to get up early for work.) But one of the gals' boyfriends points out the cold-hearted truth: "He's just not that into you."

Initially, this idea may seems too definitive, too point-blank, too pat. After all, people do get up early for work, they do have other plans sometimes--these are not simply things men make up in an effort to avoid women.

The premise of these six words, though, is that if he is into you, he'll man up and face the exhaustion the next day, or cancel the plans he already made with his buddies--because you're worth it. The fact is that the hours spent trying to interpret what he really meant when he said he was too tired could be used to get ahead in your career, become closer with your friends or find someone who is truly deserving of you.

The line was quickly adopted as a basis for a book with the same title by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, writers from the show. Now, it is turning into even more of a cult classic, as a movie is currently in production. With big-name stars including Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson, Drew Barrymore and Ben Affleck, "He's Just Not That Into You" is sure to become even more of a common catchphrase for bewildered women around the globe.

 
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With all of them in mind, we've gone and assembled our own list of ways to tell if he is in fact just not that into you. With the help of Dr. Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., author of Deal Breakers: When to Work on a Relationship and When to Walk Away, we've come up with 10 signs that, sadly enough, can help track his interest quotient.

And  men : Don't feel left out. Since Mars and Venus aren't all that far apart, most of these can be used as ways to tell if she's just not that into you as well. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, too.

And if you find yourself relating to a few too many of the criteria, don't feel bad, just get rid of him--or her. Otherwise, this relationship's going to spoil faster than last week's eggnog.

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