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Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice

As usual, I always enjoy exploring the tabloid issues between couples. Since this month's issue is about friendship, I'd like to direct the spotlight on "friendship" in the lives of couples. To my surprise, just about every other argument between couples is related to friends. I always hear things like "He called her sweety… how dare he" or "she talks to him in a very flirty way" or "How dare he call her at 11pm".

You know when a couple is in the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship and everything is topped with strawberries ‘n’ cream… we hear all the famous quotes like "I'm not a jealous person, I totally understand that you have female/male friends". Well, apparently this doesn’t last for long. Like the well-known saying: “Every prince charming loses charm after 12”!

Jealousy is a very normal feeling especially if you're in love with your partner, but there's a very thin line between jealousy and CHOKING! Some people are jealous to the extent that they're never satisfied until their partner cuts off all their relationships with all their friends and has no-one in their life but their partner! After speaking to so many couples about this issue, I figured out some very captivating points of view.

Men assume that when a girl is very understanding about their female friends and doesn’t mind him joking around with his colleagues or going for a coffee with a female co-worker to discuss business, that "Damn, what a lucky guy I am to have such a wonderful understanding supportive girl in my life".

Hey guys, thank your stars for her as you're also lucky if she doesn’t cut the veins out of your throat! Sometimes girls try so hard not to be a nag in their man's life and to be as perceptive as possible, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a green light for him to take it to the edge. I agree that some girls can be total nut-cases when it comes to a female showing up in any manner in his life, but I believe men have a big role to play here.

Ladies, you can be understanding and you can be the wonderful girl who makes him feel so lucky and blessed to have you but without having him think that you’re so cool with everything and take you for granted. We girls are very sensitive and can really go miles without initiating a fight with our guy, but this is all on your nerves and will boggle down to making you feel so unhappy and frustrated and always feeling like you are taken fore granted and that’s definitely not how you want your relationship to end up to be.

You might be with someone who has a kind of a job that requires him to be around lots of females and needs to act a certain way or even compliment them a certain way, like celebs for example. If you’re dating/engaged or married to a celeb, and you accept his lifestyle, you need to accept some things that may be above normal because it’s just the way it is around there. However, if you’re with a guy who works at a cement factory for example, you’re lucky as you won’t go through this… unless he’s a ladies man in his life in general. Whether it’s this or that, there are ground rules that must be there whenever dealing with friends of the opposite sex.

Here are a few things that you need to ask your man when it comes to his lady friend(s):

1- Does she respect me? I mean does she really deal with you putting into consideration if anything she says or does would be ok with me? Will she deal with you the exact same way when I’m around or will she be very careful when she knows I’m coming? Or will she actually over do it when I’m around so she can switch my fire alarms on?

2- Does that girl understand that some things differ from a single to a committed guy? Does she understand that she can’t call you up every single day to have a 30min conversation about whatever? Does she understand that she can’t expect you to go watch a movie together or go out for a coffee just for the sake of it (putting into consideration that it is not a business outing).

You need to ask yourself; do you trust him? Do you have self-confidence? Are you confident that he loves you? Sometimes when we girls comment about a female friend of ours, they reply saying “When you see her you’ll understand, she’s fat and ugly”… the point is not that I’m worried that you’re going to fall for her or that she’ll try to seduce you, the point is a person, more over a FEMALE, is taking up this amount of space in our life!! She buys you clothes when she’s in Spain, she buys gifs for your parents, she voluntarily arranges your ipod, she buys you a 5,000 pound wallet for no occasion and calls you every single day!! Now THAT is too much “clinging”. 

Also, a little advise for ladies; men sometimes exaggerate I agree, but we do as well! We make a mountain out of a molehill, relax, he has female friends and he always will, so it’s up to you to make it happen in front of your eyes and without letting it annoy you. Make your point, sharp and clear but without combat; trust me he’ll be more considerate that way.

And finally a word for the gents… you know women are smart, don’t underestimate their intelligence and think that you got away with something, sometimes yeah you do, but other times WE let things go with our full intention just to avoid the fuss, but that doesn’t entitle you to take us fore granted and go thinking that we didn’t notice what you did this time.

Friends are a great thing to have, and noone should ever lose them for other people, but as long as we all know the limits of friends there shouldn’t be a problem. If your friend is a real good friend worth keeping, they would understand the different phase you’re in when you get in a relationship without you having to explain the limits!

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